Sorry
by 411charlee
Summary: What happens between Oliver's confession at Palmer Technologies and Olicity driving off into the sunset at the end of 3x23


**Author's notes : This is my first fic attempt about this amazing couple. Thank you so much lou-lou26 for being the beta on this fic and your guidance through this experience. You are such an amazing person!**

 **lgtwinkie99 - my partner in crime…you rock!**

 **To all the readers….Please send me your comments - would love to hear your thoughts xxx  
** **Give us a follow on Tumblr charlee411; charlinert & lgtwinkie99 or pop in on Twitter 411charlee to say hi!** **  
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She closed her apartment door and leaned with her back against it as she took her apartment in. She looked over the living room, realising she hadn't been home in a while. She let out the sigh that she'd seemed to be holding ever since Oliver told her to trust him in Nanda Parbat.

Thinking about how today ended she couldn't help but smile. Oliver wanted to be with her. She still couldn't believe that she heard those words out of his mouth tonight. After his talk with John, Oliver gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her that he would be spending the night at the loft with Thea. He would pick her up tomorrow….tomorrow….tomorrow would be a big day. Tomorrow she and Oliver would finally start their new journey together. The life she'd been craving ever since this mysterious billionaire playboy decided to ask for her help with "his" laptop. The life she never thought she would have after she had to walk away from him so many times. Suddenly she felt how tired she was and decided to take a shower and then go straight to bed. The packing could wait until tomorrow morning, but right now she was too tired to think or do anything else.

She couldn't wait to get out of her 'Nanda Parbat attire'. She would rather forget everything that had happened the last couple of days. She would rather forget everything that had happened after leaving Oliver in Nanda Parbat, but even through throwing away her clothes that reminded her about this dreadful time, it was burned in her memory for life.

She stood under the hot water and let the spray massage the tension in her shoulders. The more she tried to relax the more all the memories of the last year started to haunt her mind. And all of a sudden she felt this tremendous fear and she started to cry. It was like all the emotions of the last year was never resolved and wanted to be resolved right now. Eventually the burden was so heavy she slid down and sat on the shower floor letting the water mix with her tears as she sobbed and cried and cried and cried.

After quite some time she decided that she had to straighten herself out. She told herself that she had cried enough the last few months to last her a lifetime and that it was time for her to let go of the past and let herself be happy with this new life – with the man she loved.

She finished in the shower and just as she made her way out of the bathroom, she saw him sitting on the floor next to the door. He looked at her with that all familiar crease of worry between his eyes.

"Oliver! You almost gave me a heart attack! What are you doing here?" She asked him, feeling thankful she had put on her bathrobe before leaving the bathroom. Shaking her head, she said. "Sorry, I mean, I thought you were spending the night with Thea, you just surprised me that's all," She gave him a small smile.

Oliver didn't answer her; he just looked at her with the crease never leaving his face. Suddenly she started to worry that something terrible had happened again and with worry, she asked him. "Oliver, what happened? Is Thea ok? Are you ok? What's going on?"

Realising her worry, Oliver stood up and put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "Why were you crying?" he asked softly. With wide eyes, Felicity knew what the crease meant and she didn't want him to take any more guilt for things that happened in her life. "I'm just tired. It's been a long couple of days you know with all the end of the world stuff happening again." Moving towards the kitchen as if this conversation never happened, she asked. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Yeah, that would be great thank you." He answered.

After a bit of silence he said. "Felicity….I'm so sorry". Felicity's heart stopped. The talk she gave herself in the shower a few minutes ago disappeared out of her memory and she started to panic. It was like she couldn't breathe. She wanted to curl up in a little ball and just disappear.

She saw the regret on his face and she started to cry again. She couldn't understand why this was happening again.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" she screamed at him. "Why is this happening again? Why do you keep doing this?" She saw the regret on his face and she started to cry again. He tried to move closer to her but there was pure confusion on his face.

"Felicity, I…" he started.

"No Oliver! Don't you Felicity me! Don't you dare start. I knew this was too good to be true," she cried. "I know you think I'm strong but let me tell you something Oliver! You aren't the only one with a breaking point."

He didn't say anything, he just stood there looking at her with so much regret and confusion, but she couldn't take it anymore. It was like a dam had burst inside her and she just couldn't stop herself from verbalising all her emotions at once….

"We keep doing this dance you know. You build up my hopes with your charm and your words and then you come back around and drop the 'I'm sorry bomb' on me and break my heart. You tell me to move on and I try and then you start from the beginning again." Her voice was a mixture of sadness and strong will. "You tell me you love me, and then you put a vial in my hand. You were so convincing I actually believed you up until that moment. The worst thing was that when we spoke on the island you never denied it, so deep inside I was hoping that you actually really meant what you said. Then you asked me out on a date and it was like everything I ever dreamed about for three years was finally becoming reality and there it was…the 'I'm sorry speech', but if that wasn't already bad enough you gave me the 'don't ask me to say I don't love you speech'. Instead of letting me go completely you push me away but still holding on and giving me hope."

Oliver looked at her and the look on his face changed to something that looked like he physically had pain at her revelation. He tried to move toward her, but she just moved further away from him. So he decided to keep his distance for now and let her get everything off her chest. He wanted them to have a future but in order for them to move forward they had to resolve the issues that were between them and work them out. He just hoped that they would be able to and that he didn't hurt her so much that his decisions would always hang over their heads.

"I really tried to move on Oliver. I tried to tell myself so many times that I was better off without you. I tried to tell myself that the fact I was worried about you when you went out in the field was the same worry I had for the other guys on the team. But the more I told myself that the more I realised I was fooling myself. So I kept waiting, I kept hoping and then you would say things like 'you know how I feel about her' or 'you wish you could be with me but you just can't' or the all time favourite 'I love you'. How do you expect someone to move on when you say things like that Oliver?"

Felicity sighed and looked down to the floor as if to gather herself. "When I told you that I didn't want to be a woman you love, I meant every word in that moment and then regretted it immediately the moment I walked away. Do you have any idea how much it hurt when I thought you were dead? I dreamt about you every night coming over to this very apartment telling me that you wanted to be with me and that you realised that we're stronger together than apart, but then you crushed that dream yet again by making such a wise decision by working with Malcolm Merlyn and it so happens you did it twice! How would you like me to recover from that? You say it's not about trust but isn't trust one of the fundamental building blocks of love Oliver? You claim you love me, but how can you love me and not trust me? What happened to this partnership? You used to trust me with everything Oliver! You used to lean on me Oliver! What happened to that?"

Felicity stood looking at him silently for a moment and then in a very calm tone she said, "I've become so used to being disappointed by people who I depend on. I'm not going to say anything further except that if you're sorry about making and voicing your decision tonight and that's the reason you're here, I will understand. You can leave and I will not hold it against you. I can't promise that I won't be devastated by your decision because I really do love you – I think I always have – but I deserve to be with someone that wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. It might take a while bu….." Oliver rushed forward and cut her off mid-sentence with a kiss.

She pushed him away tears flowing over her cheeks again and said, "Don't do that, if you can't back it up."

Oliver moved forward again cupping her cheek wiping away the tears falling. He answered with a soft voice. "Felicity, I didn't come here to take back my decision." He smiled at her trying to reassure her fears. "I came here because I couldn't wait until tomorrow to see you. I meant every word I said to you tonight. I want to be with you, I want a future with you Felicity Smoak!"

She looked at him with unconvincingly. He continued, "I knocked on the door and you didn't answer, so I broke in." He shrugged his shoulders apologetically. "I heard you were in the shower and decided to wait on the couch for you but then I heard you crying. I wanted to come in after you but I realised that I needed to give you some space. I apologised because I knew I was the reason you were crying I'm the one that has caused you so much pain. I have been such an idiot and a major jerk to you on so many occasions. I do love you Felicity and I trust you with my life. Felicity, I wouldn't be able to survive if anything had to happened to you. Having all the information concerning Ra's and the League I couldn't risk you being in danger I had no control over. I overstepped quite a few boundaries I know, but I had to do that to keep you safe. Keeping you safe has always been my priority and I realise you are stubborn and yes it's your life and your choice, but I just couldn't risk it. If that makes me selfish then yes, I admit it; I'm selfish Felicity because I cannot live without you."

He moved both his hands from her face to her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes "Felicity, I have made so many bad choices. I can make so many excuses to justify my actions and tell you again and again I did what I thought was right, but I know I cannot take away the pain and disappointment you're feeling. I pushed you away because I thought I was doing the right thing and I thought I was protecting you. I cannot change anything that happened the last year, but I can change our future. I want to be the man that you see. I want to be the man that can do right by you and love you the way you deserve to be loved. I still don't know if I understand why you love me, but I do know that I will respect your choice and try my best to be the best version of me, but I need you to help me, because let's face it – I'm a little screwed up." He finished with a smile on his face.

She laughed in between the tears "A lot screwed up in fact."

He laughed as well and said, "Okay, a lot screwed up."

"Okay," Felicity said and smiled at him.

"Okay, what?" Oliver answered.

"Okay, I will help you and apology accepted." He smiled at her with the smile that was only reserved for her and gave a huge sigh of relieve.

He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her like there would never again be another kiss. This kiss was filled with so much promise. A promise for their future together. A promise of trust. A promise that they would always be the best versions of themselves, as long as they were together. Them against the world!


End file.
